Body language secrets that will help you understand what people are truly saying

By Daniel Dunder


Even when you do not say a word, folks can still learn much about what sort of person you are and what you are thinking and feeling. How do other people do this? By studying your body language. The term body language refers to the messages you send out with your body gestures and facial expressions.

It's quite necessary to learn non-verbal communication in order to really hear what people are saying. Some communication gurus claim that between 5-10% of our communicaton is done through the words we talk. The remainder of our messages are conveyed through our body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. During your life you've been sending messages to others through your posture, gestures, and facial expressions. When you were an infant, before you learned to talk, people were peering into your little baby face, taking a look at your gestures, and listening to your small cries and gurgles, attempting to interpret what kind of mood you were in, and what you were trying to say. And you've been reacting to the body language, voice tone, and expressions of the people around you all your life, although you may not have been consciously aware of it.

What sorts of messages are you conveying to others with your body language? Does your body language encourage other people to come up to you? Or do you unconsciously warn them to keep away? Take a moment to contemplate how you typically stand or sit when you're with other people. What are you doing with your hands? Where are you looking with your eyes? Does your face express interest in the people you are with, or does your face stay a tense, stony mask? When you are sitting down or standing, do you generally cross your arms across your chest? If this is your typical way of standing or sitting, how do you think people interpret this pose? Did you notice that most individuals will subconsciously interpret your arms crossed in front of your chest as a signal that you do not want anybody to approach you? Only the gutsiest souls are likely to step forward when you adopt this position.

If you stand awkwardly, with your chest slumped forward, your shoulders sagging, and your eyes avoiding everyone else, people are probably going to decide you are extremely depressed or completely lacking in confidence. They may fear that making an attempt to talk with you'll be a ungainly experience. When you stand roughly, you do not project any sign that you're assured in yourself, or that you've got any interest in the people around you. Instead you look like you are endeavoring to vanish. No matter how despairingly you need someone to come over and befriend you, if your body language projects disinterest in others, it isn't very likely that many folk will try to start a talk with you.

If some body language signals can scare folk away, are there signals which will inspire folk to come forward and come up to you? Yes, you can look much more approachable to others if you adopt body language that is open and unthreatening. Whether or not you are sitting or standing, aim for a posture that's upright and alert, yet relaxed. If you happen to notice that your chest or shoulders are slumping, straighten up. Become privy to the way you are respiring. Does your breath move in and out smoothly? Or does it move with jerky little stops and starts? If you spot that you are holding your breath, or inhaling a shallow, jerky demeanour, this is an indication of anxiousness. When you breathe shallowly, you have got to breathe more often, which can raise your appearance of nervousness. Consciously tell all the muscles of your body to chill. Use your stomach to help breathe smoothly and intensely. Let the bottom part of your lungs fill up with air as well as the top. What are you doing with your hands? If you get twitchy in social situations, you may feel that irrespective of what you do with your hands, it is the wrong thing. Many individuals who cross their arms in front of their chest are possibly doing so at least partly because they don't know where else to put their hands.

Stay conscious of and concentrated on your environment and the people around you. If you find yourself tuning out your environment, you will begin to focus too strongly on your internal thoughts. This may swiftly raise your tension to a very uncomfortable level. It is very important to realize that even when you are not talking, you're communicating. You want to ensure that you're sending out the message that you need folks to be receiving. Non-verbal communication is something worth brooding about, and consciously working on improving. It could be a tremendous tool, reinforcing what. You wish to say, or can lead to misunderstanding it your non-vebal cues are not supporting the words exiting your mouth.




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