Have you come up with the perfect plan to get back together with your ex? Have you had a moment of clarity and you realize exactly what you need to do to get your ex back? There are many different methods that most of us think of in that moment of desperation. Usually, these plans are not unique and it's as if we all react in the same way after a breakup can come to the same conclusion as we grasp at straws to revive our dying relationship.
If any of these plans sound familiar then you are perfectly normal. This doesn't mean that any of these methods will help you to find success in getting back together with the one you love but there is hope. We all have to go through stages after a breakup. The stage that you are in presently was visited by many. We all come out the other side of this process better, stronger and, if we are wise, we are able to get back together with the one we love. We all get that opportunity. It's simply a matter of when and what you wish to do with that opportunity.
The most popular plan that most of us come up with in our mind after a breakup is the thought that we should talk to our ex. If we could only sit down and talk through all the problems in the relationship then everything would be find. If there is a problem then there is a solution, right? Talking through your problems is also what therapy is all about and this is what the professional suggest so this must be the way to reuniting with your ex.
The only issue that you might run into with this plan is that your ex has no interest in getting back together. They ended the relationship. That is how they resolved the conflict. They just gave up and decided to move on. Without a desire to be with you or an emotional tie to you and your relationship, talking will only make matters worse. Your ex may agree to meet with you and discuss when went wrong in your relationship but their goal will only be to make you see that the relationship is over. They might feel guilty for leaving you and allow you to speak your mind but you're never going to be able to convince your ex to fall in love with you again. Logic has no place in matters of the heart.
There's a pretty good chance that your ex gave you many reasons why they were ending the relationship. This list of grievances may have included many things that they couldn't tolerate about you. Offering to change or actually making changes in your life might seem like a great idea. After all, if you change all the things that your ex said were responsible for their departure then there would be no reason for the breakup. You would have removed the bad things about you and improved your life to suit them.
Again, while our ex might be proud of us for making some positive changes in our life, these changes aren't going to bring our ex back. Your ex lacks the emotional desire to be with us. As a matter of fact, if your ex did want to be with you they would come back even if you didn't make any changes in your life. There are many couples that get back together in spite of terrible circumstances and problems. It is passion, desire and attraction that brings them back together and not changes that one partner made in their life. Changing or promising to change will not bring about that passion and desire, sad to say.
Next, you might be thinking that if you were just good enough and kind enough to your ex that they will fall in love with you again. Maybe you have thought of courting your ex again. You would buy them gifts, write your ex poetry and do crazy romantic things to win your ex's heart. After all, that love must be buried just beneath the surface and all it's going to take is being nice. You can be the perfect partner and everyone will tell your ex how awesome you are. You're a better partner than all of your ex's friend's significant others, right?
This tactic is often even more desperate than many of the others. The only thing that you will probably accomplish is to push your ex further away from you. Your ex will lose more respect for you and if you push the issue, there's a good chance that your ex could file a restraining order against you. Giving your attention and affections to someone that isn't worthy of receiving your love right now is unhealthy. Once your ex is attracted to you again then you can show your love and devotion again. Until that time, being overly nice to your ex after they broke your heart is a sign of weakness.
The true key to your success in getting your ex back is to have them fall in love with you again. You ex needs to miss having you in their life. They need to remember what it was like to be in love with the person they first met. Your ex needs to fall in love with you all over again. That love needs be born anew. No amount of talking, gift giving or change on your part is going to make your ex fall in love with you again. It will happen all on its own. That love is still there. It is simply buried under a lot of resentment, frustration and fear.
Given some time, space and understanding, your ex will realize that they do still love you. Don't worry. Relationships and matters of the heart are strange. Your ex very well might appear to feel nothing for you one day and then be overwhelmed with passion for you the next day. Trust that this day will come. Understand your ex's point of view and love them from afar for the moment. Your day is coming. You can and will get your ex back if you are patient and understand what your ex is going through at the moment.
If any of these plans sound familiar then you are perfectly normal. This doesn't mean that any of these methods will help you to find success in getting back together with the one you love but there is hope. We all have to go through stages after a breakup. The stage that you are in presently was visited by many. We all come out the other side of this process better, stronger and, if we are wise, we are able to get back together with the one we love. We all get that opportunity. It's simply a matter of when and what you wish to do with that opportunity.
The most popular plan that most of us come up with in our mind after a breakup is the thought that we should talk to our ex. If we could only sit down and talk through all the problems in the relationship then everything would be find. If there is a problem then there is a solution, right? Talking through your problems is also what therapy is all about and this is what the professional suggest so this must be the way to reuniting with your ex.
The only issue that you might run into with this plan is that your ex has no interest in getting back together. They ended the relationship. That is how they resolved the conflict. They just gave up and decided to move on. Without a desire to be with you or an emotional tie to you and your relationship, talking will only make matters worse. Your ex may agree to meet with you and discuss when went wrong in your relationship but their goal will only be to make you see that the relationship is over. They might feel guilty for leaving you and allow you to speak your mind but you're never going to be able to convince your ex to fall in love with you again. Logic has no place in matters of the heart.
There's a pretty good chance that your ex gave you many reasons why they were ending the relationship. This list of grievances may have included many things that they couldn't tolerate about you. Offering to change or actually making changes in your life might seem like a great idea. After all, if you change all the things that your ex said were responsible for their departure then there would be no reason for the breakup. You would have removed the bad things about you and improved your life to suit them.
Again, while our ex might be proud of us for making some positive changes in our life, these changes aren't going to bring our ex back. Your ex lacks the emotional desire to be with us. As a matter of fact, if your ex did want to be with you they would come back even if you didn't make any changes in your life. There are many couples that get back together in spite of terrible circumstances and problems. It is passion, desire and attraction that brings them back together and not changes that one partner made in their life. Changing or promising to change will not bring about that passion and desire, sad to say.
Next, you might be thinking that if you were just good enough and kind enough to your ex that they will fall in love with you again. Maybe you have thought of courting your ex again. You would buy them gifts, write your ex poetry and do crazy romantic things to win your ex's heart. After all, that love must be buried just beneath the surface and all it's going to take is being nice. You can be the perfect partner and everyone will tell your ex how awesome you are. You're a better partner than all of your ex's friend's significant others, right?
This tactic is often even more desperate than many of the others. The only thing that you will probably accomplish is to push your ex further away from you. Your ex will lose more respect for you and if you push the issue, there's a good chance that your ex could file a restraining order against you. Giving your attention and affections to someone that isn't worthy of receiving your love right now is unhealthy. Once your ex is attracted to you again then you can show your love and devotion again. Until that time, being overly nice to your ex after they broke your heart is a sign of weakness.
The true key to your success in getting your ex back is to have them fall in love with you again. You ex needs to miss having you in their life. They need to remember what it was like to be in love with the person they first met. Your ex needs to fall in love with you all over again. That love needs be born anew. No amount of talking, gift giving or change on your part is going to make your ex fall in love with you again. It will happen all on its own. That love is still there. It is simply buried under a lot of resentment, frustration and fear.
Given some time, space and understanding, your ex will realize that they do still love you. Don't worry. Relationships and matters of the heart are strange. Your ex very well might appear to feel nothing for you one day and then be overwhelmed with passion for you the next day. Trust that this day will come. Understand your ex's point of view and love them from afar for the moment. Your day is coming. You can and will get your ex back if you are patient and understand what your ex is going through at the moment.
About the Author:
Go here to learn more about how to win your ex back. Get great relationship advice and learn what works and what won't.
No comments:
Post a Comment