Dealing with a control freak

By Kit Karson


Many women are in controlling relationships. Some know it and others are in denial. Whether you are aware of it or not, the reality is, control freaks can cause you a lot of irreparable hurt that can last a life time. The longer you stay in this type of relationship, the worse you feel.

The main reason women tend to stay in a controlling relationship is because they think their partner is going to change; they have hope. Hope is not a good strategy here because control freaks are what they are and they learned it long before you arrived on the scene. Changing the control freak is next to impossible without professional help.

Controlling behavior can have all kinds of small things hidden behind the scenes. As the relationship begins, it seems as though you can talk forever and the sex is awesome. But, as the infatuation stage dies down, the controlling behavior takes over in bits and pieces until you wonder what you were attracted to in the first place. Just know that they aren't going to stop - it will get worse.

They can be very seductive at first to lure you in. This is usually at the unconscious level, so, the control freak really doesn't realize there is a hidden agenda behind the behavior and neither does their victim. These types of relationships usually have an unusually "strong connection" during the infatuation stage because of the hidden problems fueling the attraction.

There are always things that controllers do that are obvious to an outsider, but, to the person involved with one, they are in denial about the reality of what is really going on. Because the relationship may be new, they literally cannot see the forest for the trees and often make excuses for controlling behavior.

Some controlling behaviors are:

- They cannot leave you alone even when you are at work

- They have a jealous streak which gets worse as time goes on

- They find fault with your family

Dealing with a control freak in a love relationship is extremely difficult. It erodes your self esteem. You are always on guard, walking on egg shells, so you don't upset them. This is truly an unhealthy way to live. You know you can do better and you'd better make plans for yourself before it has gone past the point of no return.

Learning how to detect controlling and/or abusive behavior is a must if you are to steer clear of those types; they are everywhere. Because his negative behavior comes on slowly, before you know it you are right in the middle of a very bad scenario indeed. This is when you need to start seriously thinking about moving on from this relationship as fast as possible; it won't get better.




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